We hear endlessly about how to care for our aging bodies but we don’t often hear about how our personality ages.There’s a body of psychological research that shows extraversion declines with age. Apologies to all you young extroverts out there! This is true for BOTH men and women. If it’s happening to you, your instinct is probably to worry, apologise for it, or wonder if something’s wrong with you. Don’t worry, don’t apologise and you’re probably just fine! What’s actually happening is far more interesting. Stanford psychologist Laura Carstensen explains: "As people age and their sense of time becomes more finite, they naturally begin to optimize social energy for meaning and quality rather than breadth and novelty." As we age, we become less interested in constant stimulation and more interested in meaningful connection. Less drawn to being in every room, and more intentional about the rooms we choose. In other words, We don’t stop being interested in people. We stop being interested in all people, all the time. This is not social withdrawal, it’s social refinement. And for busy professionals, this matters. Your time, your attention, and your energy are some of your most valuable assets. The way you develop your business, show up for your team, and connect with clients should evolve as you do. And as your clients do. Business development strategies that got you work at the start of your career have to align with who you are now and who your clients are now. If you are becoming more introverted or just busier with your practice and your team, the thought of spending most of the day at a client event may bring unnecessary anxiety. Develop business a different way! Leadership skills grow and become more impactful with time and learning. You need to grow and adapt with your team and your responsibilities. Not to mention each generation coming through the ranks - but thats an email for another day. That said, there is an important distinction to be aware of. Sometimes pulling back is a conscious, healthy choice.
Other times, it can be something else; burnout, disconnection, or simply running on empty. From the outside, they can look identical. But internally, they feel very different. When it’s intentional, there’s clarity. Space feels restorative. The connections you do have feel deeper, easier, more genuine. Safer. When it’s not, there’s a sense of heaviness. You want connection, but don’t quite have the energy for it. Even things you used to enjoy can feel like effort. Being able to recognise the difference is key. Because one is growth. The other is a signal. And both deserve your attention. At Fell, we’re passionate about reducing unnecessary stress in an already demanding role. You have enough to deal with, let us help you with everything else. You’re doing great!
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