The source of most social anxiety is this: Worrying what people think of you.We worry they won’t like us…so we start to try too hard. We worry we’re being awkward…so we start to overthink and end up being awkward. For professionals leading a team, managing clients or building a business, this internal noise can be loud! Do you second guess your relationships because you struggle to know what others want or how you can add value? Does this lead to you second-guessing everything you do, trying to pinpoint the one negative example where you can tell yourself it’s true? Let’s do a secret little hands up if this is you… People will have opinions. Plenty of them. Some will be fair.
Some careless.
Some just plain wrong. It doesn’t matter what people say or think, unless you believe them. Most negative thoughts in your head didn’t even start with you.
They were someone else’s emotional projection that accidentally became your inner voice. Picture this: You do a great job for a client. You go above and beyond. And then… nothing. No reply.
No acknowledgement.
Or worse, a blunt response that takes all the wind out of your sails. And just like that, your brain fills in the gaps: “Did I miss something?” “Was that not good enough?” “Have I got this wrong?” It’s not about you. Other professionals are also busy. Distracted. Under pressure.
Sometimes they don’t have the emotional intelligence, time, or awareness to communicate well. And they probably haven’t given it a second thought. We are wired to make up stories in the absence of information, and those stories are usually far harsher than reality. So, repeat after me: Not everything deserves your energy.
Not every reaction deserves your analysis.
Not every silence needs a story. On your next spiral, slow down, breathe, and think: Is this actually true? (Not: does it sting? Not: does it scare me?) Is this useful? Does it help me grow, improve, or see something clearly? Is this even mine? Or am I holding onto someone else’s pressure, crappy mood, or limitation? Reject stories that don’t serve you.
Take feedback without turning it into your identity.
Consider without absorbing. Words you can believe… You’re doing great!
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