Next time you wake at 3am and the confidence collapse starts to kick in, know you’re in a community of liked minded professionals all doing the same.The reaction to the Wide Awake, Again, article was both amazing and concerning. The 3am club (I’m trying something) came out in abundance to share their stories with me and for that, I am truly grateful. Thank you. So, once again, what’s on your heart and mind? If you sit up straight in bed at 3 o’clock in the morning, what are you worried about? The traits that make someone an exceptional professional; attention to detail, responsibility for outcomes, thinking several steps ahead, are the very traits that can keep the mind running long after the working day has finished. Whenever that will be! A small issue raised by a client. That probably wasn’t a real issue. A comment in a meeting that you replay later. Because it hit you on a level you tried to ignore at the time. A matter where the outcome is uncertain. So, most of the time.
During the day, you deal with it. You move on to the next task. The pace of work carries you forward and you rarely have a moment to think. But when everything is quiet, the brain returns to the unfinished business you started at 3am. Not because something is wrong. Because your mind is trained to question, scan for risk and anticipate problems. On a human level, as well as a professional level. We call that survival. The difficulty is that the same skill, when turned inward, can become self-criticism. Over time, many professionals start to interpret this internal commentary as a sign that they lack confidence, or worst, have imposter syndrome (confident humility!). But in most cases the opposite is true. It’s merely a by-product of high standards and huge responsibility. The more interesting question isn’t how to stop those thoughts appearing but how much authority you give them when they do. Those who are both effective and emotionally steady over long careers tend to learn and develop a discipline around this. They notice the thought. And don’t accept it as fact. They look back at achievements, the work they’ve done, the judgment they exercised, and the experience they’ve built over time. In other words, they learn to trust the professional they have already become. Learning how to relate differently to your own internal commentary is something I spend a lot of time working on with clients. In a profession where the outcome of all decisions you make matter, it’s only natural to feel you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You don’t have to do it alone. Welcome to the 3am club! Everyone wants to be a better future self. At Fell, we’ll help get you there.
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