What if we viewed feedback as an act of service rather than an act of judgement? Would we be more open to hearing it?The intention of feedback isn't to criticise or diminish someone. It's to help them grow, improve and succeed. Yet most of us hear feedback very differently. We hear judgement. We hear criticism. We hear evidence that we're somehow falling short. Which may explain why many of us actively seek feedback - right up until the moment somebody gives us some. But if we struggle to see ourselves clearly, is it wise to rely on others to tell us? After all, if you're unknowingly annoying clients, intimidating colleagues or creating barriers in relationships, surely someone would point it out? Unfortunately, not always. Perhaps the biggest myth of all is that silence means everything is fine. Think about the last time someone did something that irritated you. Perhaps they dominated meetings, interrupted people, came across as dismissive, sent emails that felt unnecessarily abrupt. Or had a video call on a crowded train with no earphones?! Just me?! Did you tell them? Probably not. Most of us don't. Not because we're dishonest. Because we're human. We worry about upsetting people, damaging relationships, how it will be received. So instead, we adapt. We give a version of the feedback that makes us feel better. We filter. And that's where the problem begins. And the more senior you become, the less likely people are to tell you the truth. A trainee might receive correction every day. Whereas a partner might go months without hearing a single piece of candid feedback. That's why curiosity matters. When we ask questions, invite challenge, and create environments where being honest feels safe, we're much more likely to remain curious rather than become defensive when we hear something we'd rather not. And when we become defensive, we stop listening. This week, be honest with yourself and consider this question: What feedback am I not receiving because people don't feel comfortable giving it? It's not an easy question. But the answer may tell you far more than the feedback you do receive. As always, if this is something you'd like to explore further, we'd love to hear from you. You're doing great! Michelle
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