What if, in trying so hard to impress those around us, we miss the opportunity to genuinely connect.It’s human nature to want to be liked, respected and seen as good at what we do. So we prepare, polish our words and try to put our best foot forward. In professions like law and insurance, where credibility and competence matter, that's hardly surprising. But what if, in trying so hard to impress people, we’re actually holding ourselves back? Anyone who’s worked with me knows I’m a firm believer that it’s about building relationships, not selling or asking for work. But it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to prove our worth, demonstrate our expertise or say something impressive to make people want to work with us. The irony is that, in focusing so much on what we want people to think of us, we can lose sight of what really matters: getting to know them, understanding what matters to them and building a connection that gives them a reason to trust us. Fight the urge and replace your pitch with a question. Rather than trying to convince someone you're worth knowing, ask for their advice. Rather than launching into what you do, take an interest in what they do. Rather than waiting until you have something impressive to say, start the conversation. It's a subtle shift, but a powerful one. Asking a thoughtful question does something a polished pitch rarely can: it makes the other person part of the conversation, rather than the audience for it. People don't connect with perfection. Think about the people you trust most. Are they the ones who always have the perfect answer, never admit a mistake and seem to have everything under control? Or are they the ones who are fabulously imperfect. The ones who are honest with you and aren't afraid to say, "I have no idea…but I’ll go find out"? Competence matters. Of course it does. But people need to know who you are when things go wrong, not just how good you are when they go right. Spoiler alert - things will occasionally go wrong! This is worth remembering when we're building relationships with clients, colleagues or potential referrers. We don't need to perform, impress or have all the answers. We need to be curious, interested and willing to have a genuine conversation. So, here's a little challenge for this week. In your next professional conversation, ask one question you're genuinely interested in hearing the answer to. Or, if we’re feeling particularly brave, ask for advice on one thing you genuinely need help with. You’d be amazed how many people would step up to help and share. You’re doing great! Michelle
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